Zen and the Art of Ignoring Stupidity

Let me set the stage for you:

I am at a professional soccer game with a group of friends. We are enjoying ourselves, having a great time, discussing the plays, root-root-rooting for the home team, and all that jazz. In comes the Oblivious Foursome who makes their first impression by trying to get the camera man’s attention by doing the floss dance. If you don’t know what that is, please consider staying in your state of blissful ignorance.

The Oblivious Foursome is loud, obnoxious, and clearly knows absolutely nothing about soccer. Considering one of its most vocal member seemed to have a vocabulary that consisted of: “GO,” “RUN,” “FOUL,” “SHOOT,” and “YOU SUCK REF!” we all knew we were in for a long evening.

I am generally very good at keeping my cool, but for some reason this group got under my skin. I felt myself turning red. I felt words of anger swelling up in my throat. With every insult they threw at the opposing team, I wanted to scream that I would like to see them attempt to even dribble the ball. Every time they complained about a (generally correct) call that the ref made, I wanted to school them with my soccer IQ and get them to shut the hell up.

Then it occurred to me.

Absolutely nothing I said would have any impact on these people whatsoever. They did not come to this game to educate themselves about the sport or to appreciate the feats of athleticism that were occurring on the field. They were here to be dicks and laugh at their self-proclaimed hilariousness. If I were to make a comment about their ignorance, I would simply go down in their books as “that crazy bitch sitting in the row behind us.”

The truth is this: I could spend my evening telling these people how wrong they were, or I could have just let them have their time to be dumbasses. I chose the latter. As soon as I let go of the idea that they needed to learn that what they were doing was idiotic, I stopped caring about them. It’s not my job to tell them they are ignorant twats. That would do nothing to make my night better, and it would not change their actions whatsoever.

Honestly, it is very infrequent that any opinion-based argument that takes place in real life or online will ever change the mind of our opponent. We enter these arguments with our minds made up, fully knowing that the other side is wrong. In this case, my logical understanding of the game and the fact that these people were being rude was my foundational argument. But our opponent will believe in their own story. These people had their truth—this was how they wanted to enjoy the game. It was not my job to tell them that that was wrong.

Now I am not saying that you shouldn’t stand up for what is right. I think everyone has a right to voice their opinion and be proud of that voice. I also think everyone should be aware that even the most well-crafted argument can fall on deaf ears. If someone’s mind is made up, logic, science, photographic evidence, or first-hand experience won’t make a dent in personal beliefs. So give your argument, but be prepared for the world to keep turning just as it is…with some people still thinking that it’s flat.

Live your personal truth without having to prove it to others. Once you do, you can wash out the sound of stupidity and live in your bubble of self-made zen.